Relentless Regrets
Psalm 86:15 (NIV)
15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.
Broken glass was all that was left of one of our engraved wedding champagne flutes. In one accidental moment an irreplaceable piece of our past was lost. How do you fix something beyond repair? I remember looking at my wife and we both could see the hurt in our child’s eyes. In that moment, we chose mercy and love instead of discipline and consequence. It hurt to lose a memento from our wedding day but our love for our child surpassed the love for an object that represented our love. Love is the driving force of mercy.
Regret can be a terrible weight to carry. Mercy has the power to lift that weight. In the days and months following my son’s accident, the weight of regrets increased over time. Words said and unsaid and actions not taken weighed heavily on my days. My life felt as if it was on the verge of shattering into a million pieces.
4.25.19
Because of God’s mercy we have hope for our future. Without God’s mercy none of us would have hope. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. We did not do anything to earn this mercy. It is a gift of God.
When you lose someone your mind is relentless. My mind repeatedly replays moments. Great moments and moments that I regret. When I get to Heaven those regrets will disappear. God has already taken care of that with His mercy. I need to let go of them today. I can’t change the past but I can live differently in the future. I can know that someday when I see Bryce in Heaven we are not going to discuss discipline and arguments. We will be focused on eternity with Jesus. If that will be my focus then, shouldn’t it be my focus now. Mercy sets us free.
My life was not fixed on the day I wrote those words. I must revisit the attribute of mercy often. When I am tempted to try to relive moments in my mind, I remind myself of who God is. He is merciful and loving. He doesn’t want me to live a life weighed down by regrets. His mercy sets us free and we are free indeed.
