Call on the One Who Knows
Psalm 139 (NIV)
1 You have searched me, Lord,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
The phone rings and I walk across the room to answer it. Upon hearing my voice the person on the other end begins to ask me questions. I quickly have to correct them and let them know that I am not the one that they are looking for. They were looking for my father. My voice sounded like his but my brain did not hold the answers they were looking for.
When I go to visit my parents in California, I am always amazed at the number of phone calls that my father gets each week. People from different backgrounds all calling on him to provide answers. My father has a passion for fishing and nobody knows Clear Lake better than him. He has spent years on the lake and if someone wants to know the latest information about fishing on the lake they know to call George. He knows how the conditions change with the seasons. He knows about the behavior of different species of fish in the lake. He knows the best times of day to be fishing. He knows about what can be seen and he is aware of what is unseen under the water. If you want to know about fishing conditions on Clear Lake there is one name to know and people call on him because they trust him.
Although my father has a vast amount of knowledge and experience on Clear Lake there are still days that he is unsuccessful on the lake. This is because he doesn’t know all things. This is not an issue for God. God is omniscient. That means he knows the past, the present, and the future. Nothing surprises Him and this knowledge of past, present, and future provides both struggle and hope in the life of a grieving parent. God knew the day was coming. He knew the impact that it would have on our lives. He knew how it would impact the days and years to follow. I wrestled with this idea throughout my journal in the days following the accident.
Journal 1.12.19
Psalm 139 talks about how God knows me and how he knows Bryce too. He knew what would happen that December morning. He knew what possibly could happen and what actually happened. I was shocked by tragedy but God was not. God knows everything about today and I do not. My mind struggles to figure out what it is like for Bryce now but God doesn’t. With God there is no unknown yet my mind is flooded with unknowns.I must continue in faith and look forward to the hope that God provides. I must continue to love because God loves Bryce even more than I do and he knew what was best for him in the past and what is best for him today.
As the months passed, my mind focused more on the hope that comes with knowledge. God knows the whole picture. I know one part that I experienced and felt deeply. God sees the whole story from beginning to end. In March of 2019, I revisited the topic of God’s omniscience.
Journal 3.21.19
Last night I visited the Big Tree again and waited for the sunset. Over the years I have watched others come out and visit it and miss the amazing views that unfold. They don’t know where to stand, they are too absorbed in taking selfies, others leave too early. Bryce and I knew the secret. After the sunset there is usually one more burst of glory. Color fills the sky and that is when I have taken some of my favorite pictures.When others think the story is over when the sunsets, those who know can wait in hope. Those with faith can wait with hope because they know that there is light even when others think only darkness awaits.
When we are struggling with our grief it is encouraging to know that we can call on the One who knows. He knows how our time of grief fits in a much larger timeline. When you only see darkness ahead, wait on one more burst of glory. Your Father knows the story is not over.
