Breaking Bread at a Broken Table
Luke 14:15 New International Version (NIV)
15 When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, “Blessed is the one who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.”
This is the fifth devotion in a series of six devotions based on what I have learned about grief during my year of writing devotions. I often revisit the six needs when I feel the waves of grief crashing down upon me.
Support
Solitude
Rise Up
Rest
Feeding
On Thursday our table was full yet one chair remained empty. Thanksgiving has not been the same after the loss of our son. It is a day for giving thanks for our blessings but it is hard not to feel the pain of what we have lost. The kitchen table has always been a gathering place for our family. In 2006, our family packed up our U-Haul truck and moved from California to Missouri. Somewhere in that journey our dining room table broke in half. When we arrived in Missouri, we removed the center of the table and my father reconnected the broken ends together. The result was a smaller table that drew each of us closer together each time we gathered around the restored table.
When Michelle and I were first married we talked about wanting to make it a habit to eat around the dining room table. Over the years, that resulted in the family table being a place of stories, prayer, laughter, arguments, and sharing. The table is scarred with indentations from school projects and life. Each scar represented a step on our journey together.
When we lost Bryce last year, grief tried to take away the table experience. The empty chair was a symbol of pain. We struggled to gather at the table but we have slowly fought to regain that space. Sometimes we will tell a story and wonder what would have been said. An empty chair takes its place as a reminder of what was lost.
On the day we lost Bryce, my friends had to remind me to eat. That continued in the days that followed. My mind was lost in grief but my friends knew that I also must take care of my physical body. When I feel myself getting lost in my grief today I still have to remind myself to be fed. By providing yourself with the proper nutrition, you help yourself to handle the physical impacts of grief. It is also important to feed yourself in other ways. It is important to be emotionally fed by connecting to others. You also need to be intellectually fed by reminding yourself about what you know about the nature of God. You also need to be spiritually fed by reading God’s Word. When I feel myself becoming weary from the impacts of grief, I try to remind myself to be filled in order to strengthen myself for the battle. I have also found it important to refill our seats around the kitchen table. I would encourage your family to gather around the dinner table as a habit.
Fill the air with laughter.
Fill the air with stories.
Fill the air with prayer.
An empty chair only means something if it was once filled.
The Bible talks about eating together in Heaven. As I try to take back the idea of our family gathering around the dinner table, the empty chair has another meaning. It points to a day when we will gather again as a whole family. My Heavenly Father will take what was broken and draw us close again. Each of us filling our chair at the banquet table and filling the air of Heaven with laughter, stories and thanksgiving.
