Rest in the Storm
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
This is the fourth devotion in a series of six devotions based on what I have learned about grief during my year of writing devotions. I often revisit the six needs when I feel the waves of grief crashing down upon me.
Support
Solitude
Rise Up
Rest
In the days and month following Bryce’s accident I struggled to fall asleep and would wake up often after I finally started to find rest. Struggling with the images of the crash scene that were now burned into my memory and the endless questions racing through my mind pushed me to exhaustion. Grief was attacking me mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I longed for rest but it couldn’t be found.
God designed us for active lives but he also designed us for rest. Sleep can boost your immune system, help prevent weight gain, strengthen your heart, improve your mood, increase productivity, improve your memory and provide other benefits. God modeled the need for rest in the story of creation and the establishment of the Sabbath. Without this needed rest the impacts of grief are multiplied. Many mental health issues are strongly linked to poor sleep quality.
I knew I needed to take steps to help myself in this area of my grief. There were some steps that helped me increase my amount of quality sleep. My brother used a weighted blanket when he struggled with sleep during his chemotherapy treatments and recommended it to me. I also tried to create a consistent time for going to bed and waking up each day. I used a Fitbit to track my sleep in order to provide data to help me understand if the steps I was taking were helping. I also reduced my caffeine intake and increased my amount of exercise. All these were tremendously helpful but the most important step was finding my rest in Jesus. In Matthew 11:28 it states:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Finding your rest in Jesus is placing your burdens at his feet. The spiritual questions and answers I encountered were part of the process that led to me finding rest. Questions would awaken me like the sounds of a severe thunderstorm in the night. When the storms of grief would rage, I would entrust them to the one who could calm the storm.
Some nights the nightmares would keep me awake and other nights I would find peace in the dreams that would come. Some nights I would have dreams of being with Bryce on earth again. I had dreams of running to meet him in Heaven. But one dream was the most vivid. It made a lasting impression on me. This was a post I made on Facebook the morning after the dream.
Can God use a storm on the Sea of Galilee in the time of Jesus, an artist in 1633, an art heist in 1990, and a worship service in 2019 to work together to bring comfort to a grieving father?
This morning prior to waking up I was dreaming of Rembrandt’s painting ‘Christ in the Storm On The Sea Of Galilee’. The scene played out vividly in my dream. I was comforted by how God has the power to calm even the winds and the waves. As I woke up that image was stuck in my mind. So I got up and as I was waiting for my turn in the shower, I started watching YouTube videos about the painting. I became interested in how the painting was stolen and how the museum leaves the frames up in the hope of being reunited. They talked about how Whitey Bulger was a suspect in the crime.
When we arrived at church we sang:
Peace, bringing it all to peace
The storm surrounding me
Let it break at Your name
Still, call the sea to still
The rage in me to still
Every wave at Your name
When our pastor opened his sermon he used an illustration which included Whitey Bulger and the art heist.
Some may chalk things like that up to coincidence. I believe that God speaks to us in subtle ways. Sometimes we need to be still and listen. I need to trust Jesus in the storm. There is also something sad yet beautiful about an empty frame on a museum wall. Sad for the loss but finding hope by looking forward to a day when they will be reunited.
Since the night of the dream I have kept a photo of the painting as the lock screen of my phone as a reminder for me to trust God in the midst of the storm, In the storm on the Sea of Galilee, Jesus slept. He did not fear the storm. He slept. We need to be like the child that rushes into the bed of his or her parents during a thunderstorm. Trust your Father to protect you. Jesus says come to Him and He will give you rest. Like the empty frame that hangs on the wall of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston, I will wait for my reunion. Until that day I will trust in the One that can calm the storm.
